


Fuck Holidays (Everybody Says You and Me)

by hotmess_ex_press



Category: Pentagon (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Office, Birthday Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Holidays, Humor, M/M, aka everyone ships it but jinho himself, hongseok tries way too hard, jinho is really thirsty but he doesn't know it, like haha you can see how this is gonna go already right, like no kidding, wow too many tags stahp, yet - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-18
Updated: 2018-04-18
Packaged: 2019-04-24 09:00:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14352243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hotmess_ex_press/pseuds/hotmess_ex_press
Summary: This is America, okay? There is only room foronehot, English-speaking Korean guy in this town, motherfuckers.That title should belong to Jinho, and Jinho alone, but this suspiciousYang Hongseokis invading his territory. He must admit this mindset is alittleunprogressive and quite outdated, but still. His. Territory.Not okay. Not cool. Unacceptable.(Itisn'tbecause Jinho is gay and very, very single, not to mention Yang Hongseok looksfuckinghot in a suit and tie, and he needs an excuse to gape at him all day. Nope. That's definitely not it.)





	Fuck Holidays (Everybody Says You and Me)

**Author's Note:**

> Well we were going over our roles in our friend group and I'm like "I'm the resident sexy (half) Asian" and then my muse struck. THiS iS pOInTlesS read only to waste time and get your daily dose of Jinhongseok.
> 
> Happy Jinhongseok day! Enjoy!

Jo Jinho has a problem.

It all started when he arrived at work and just about got his brains blown out. He was _prepared_ , okay? His boss had warned him about the _new recruit_ and having to _show him the ropes_ and he was totally fine with that. But then he actually saw the new recruit, who was being annoying, tall, annoyingly tall, and horribly _Korean_ in the middle of Jinho's corner office, staring at his extremely messy desk (he's going to get to it, alright?) like it physically pained him, and Jinho lost it.

This is America, okay? There is only room for _one_ hot, English-speaking Korean guy in this town, motherfuckers.

That title should belong to Jinho, and Jinho alone, but this suspicious _Yang Hongseok_ is invading his territory. He must admit this mindset is a _little_ unprogressive and quite outdated, but still. His. Territory.

Not okay. Not cool. Unacceptable.

(It _isn't_ because Jinho is gay and very, very single, not to mention Yang Hongseok looks _fucking_ hot in a suit and tie, and he needs an excuse to gape at him all day. Nope. That's definitely not it.)

He not-really-but-totally complains to his roommate Hwitaek about this _problem_ , but Hwitaek is uncharacteristically unsympathetic about it. In fact, this seems to be quite an issue everywhere. In other words, no one feels bad for him or encourages his utter loathing of Hongseok. Quite the opposite, actually.

"I'm sure it's not as bad as it seems."-Hwitaek

"He's nice, he's funny. I'm positive you two could work well together."-his boss

"You're just being a bitter old fuck about this. Let it go. Plus, Hyunggu stalked his Instagram. He's _hot_."-his cousin, Wooseok

"Get to know him better, I think you two could become great friends."-his boss's boss

"It'll be so nice working with another Korean. You ought to meet more single Koreans. When are you coming home?"-his mother

"You two seem to be very compatible. In fact, I think I'll pair you two up for your next project. It won't be a problem; I'll arrange it. No need to thank me."-his boss's boss's boss.

After that, Jinho stops complaining.

Even the conflict _himself_ shares this mindset that the two are destined to be together forever. The very day after his arrival at the office, he brings Jinho coffee (his favorite caramel macchiato from his favorite shop, no less, and who has _told_ him this highly classified information? Jinho thought he had no enemies at the office, but maybe he's been wrong this whole time and whoever they are, they are working in cahoots with Hongseok to bring about his downfall). The worst thing about this entire fiasco is how _Jinho_ is written besides a motherfucking Sharpie heart on the flimsy paper around the cup, staring up at him and mocking his shriveled, resentful existence.

The second worse thing about this entire fiasco: the smile Hongseok wears as he hands the coffee to Jinho, who has apparently been promoted to _hyung_ in Hongseok-speak.

He makes Hwitaek listen to him rant and massage his back when he gets home, because this here is an _issue_.

_Halloween_

Jinho likes some holidays. He likes Christmas and Thanksgiving and events that allow him to eat all of the food guilt-free. _Halloween_ , however, is not his cup of tea. He doesn't enjoy being attacked by his "friends," (see those neat little quotes around that word? Yeah.), or dressing up and looking like an idiot, or young children ringing his doorbell begging for candy while he's trying to suffocate himself with a pillow.

The office generally encourages all employees to dress up for Halloween, to give the outside world the impression not all of its workers are slowly dying on the inside. Jinho, however, has his dignity, and shows up to work in normal-person attire. It's what he's always done, and, so far, no one has had any problems with it during his long, hard, slog through adulthood. Yet.

Of course Hongseok is the one to have a fucking problem with it. _Of course._

And it's not like Hongseok's done much for the eternally damned occasion, either. He's wearing black slacks (just like always) and a black dress shirt (sleeves rolled up to the elbows, just like always) and a pair of fuzzy white cat ears.

Jinho is standing at the coffee machine, waiting for his sludge-flavored caffeine, (pick one; sludge-, sewage-, or urine-flavoring), when Hongseok yells out "Jinho-hyung!" so loud he's positive every being on the planet hears, and races towards him.

"Jinho hyung," he repeats, hand shooting out to straighten the older man's tie. "Where's your costume?"

"Uh," Jinho stutters, and the last drops of coffee have been spluttered into his panda mug, so he has the _perfect_ excuse to go run off and hide in the nearest supply closet--

"Forgot one?" Hongseok asks sympathetically, reaching to root around in his leather messenger bag. "Don't worry! I brought an extra pair of ears just in case something like this happened. They came in a pair, you know!"

Before Jinho can open his mouth, a headband with ears almost identical to the ones on Hongseok's head, only black, is ceremoniously placed on his head.

"Aww, cute, hyung," Hongseok beams, patting Jinho's hair. He turns, waving. "See you later!"

Jinho keeps the ears on all day, not because of the sly comments people make linking them to Hongseok's, not because of the grins they give him whenever he and the aforementioned tanned giant are within five feet of each other, but because Hongseok could probably break his face simply by flexing his bicep.

(That's what he tells himself, at least.)

_Christmas_

_Mistletoe. Whose fucking idea. Whose motherfucking idea._

It is everywhere. _Everywhere._

Jinho's plan was to hide in his cubicle until 8 pm, when he could probably run out of the building without being seen, but of course an impromptu meeting is thrown at his face at exactly 12 noon.

Using his insane (read: nonexistent) ninja skills, Jinho finally reaches the hallway where his boss's office is located, only five minutes late. He lets out a sigh of relief as he slinks towards the door.

"Righto, boss," he hears in a nauseatingly familiar voice, and if he wasn't so tired from ninja-ing up three flights of stairs he would have bolted, but, instead, he runs smack dab into Hongseok's chest as they both try to walk through the doorway at the same time.

"Ow," Jinho mutters, rubbing his nose, because he's short and Hongseok's chest is _hard_. He almost doesn't hear the _ooh_ 's coming from the other twelve people at the meeting, but they are demonically loud, and he and Hongseok both turn to them at the same time, Jinho glaring and Hongseok looking confused. "Ah, fuck."

The pair looks up simultaneously.

Jinho really, really, really should have stayed home today. Who needs a job? Who needs responsibility? Who needs money?

"Ah! Jinho hyung!" Hongseok laughs, lightly shoving Jinho's shoulder. "Looks like you have to kiss me now!"

Mistletoe. It's fucking mistletoe. All that ninja-ing for nothing.

"Oh, no. Nope, nope, nope," Jinho steps back a little and bumps into the doorframe. "I'm afraid that won't be necessary."

The satanic crowd makes disappointed noises.

"Boo, Jinho! Don't be a party pooper!" Yujin calls.

Eunbin joins in. "Yeah! You can't break tradition!"

A few evil comments about tradition are thrown in, because they know his Asian ass is a sucker for it. Fuck tradition. Fuck holidays. Even his boss is joining in. These shippers and their fetishizing bullshit. Jinho will end the world.

"What do you say, hyung?" Hongseok eyesmiles, and that's not good for Jinho's health.

He sighs and taps his cheek, leaning in. The only reason he is giving in is because if he doesn't he knows all of humanity will never let him live it down. The only reason. Obviously.

He feels Hongseok lean in too, and squeezes his eyes shut in anticipation. Warm breath against his skin, then soft lips. Hongseok lingers for a second longer than necessary, then pulls away with a loud, exaggerated, and highly unneeded smack.

The room cheers, Hongseok goes on his merry way, and Jinho dies promptly.

_New Years Eve_

10...9...8...

Jinho hears the countdown starting, sees the people dancing and shouting, feels the electric of the crowd and small amount of alcohol in his system, but all he can think is, _why did I let Hwitaek drag me to this shitfest?_

7...6...5...

"Ugh," Jinho groans aloud as he tries to make his way towards the bathroom, pushing through the many drunk couples already starting to devour each other's faces. _Why why why. Why am I here?_

4...3...2...1...

Familiar hands grab Jinho's shoulders. All he can see is perfectly sculpted and toned tan skin (it's winter, how? The sun is gone, yo.) and a flash of black hair before a certain Yang Hongseok presses a quick kiss right to Jinho's lips.

(The side of his brain that likes to betray him a lot briefly thinks, _wow, Hongseok's lips are just too nice for his own good_ before he realizes what just happened.)

"Yah!" Jinho screeches a second too late, flailing his arms. "Did you just _kiss_ me?"

Hongseok's looks innocently and very intoxicatedly confused. "Yes. Why wouldn't I?"

Jinho is just a teense bit infuriated. He stomps before realizing how much that probably makes him look like a toddler. "Why do you always want to kiss me?"

"Because I like you, hyung!" Hongseok shouts cheerfully, swaying a little. "I always have, ever since I met your horribly messy desk. Is it not obvious?"

"My desk is not _that_ bad," Jinho hisses. "And you are _drunk_. I can't trust anything you say right now."

Hongseok shrugs, bouncing back and forth on his heels. "Suit yourself. It's all true, though."

"Ugh!" Jinho says for the second time in less than two minutes. He shoves Hongseok, a bit more roughly than what he would have done had they both been sober, and storms away. "I can't deal with you. Go home, you moronic inebriate."

"I love you, too!" Hongseok yells.

New Years Eve is never mentioned between the two of them again.

_Valentine's day_

"What is this?" Jinho shrieks as he steps into his cubicle and is immediately met with a wave of red and pink. "Hongseok!"

Hongseok is there in two seconds flat, (as if the bastard was waiting to show himself until the telltale yelp Jinho would inevitably make at the state of his poor, poor office space was heard.) He beams hugely at the sight of Jinho's cubicle. Every single inch of available flat space is smothered in hot pink, bubblegum, and scarlet post-it notes, a handwritten compliment neatly printed onto each one. _Handwritten. There must be at least a hundred._ It's like diving into a bottle of Pepto-Bismol, a bit overwhelming and a lot sickening. Jinho pulls at his hair and whirls around to face the culprit, attack on his mind.

" _What_ ," he snarls. "Are you doing with your fucking life? You only have one of these, you know."

Hongseok's grin turns cheeky, and he winks at the other. "Enriching yours, of course. Look! I bought you cupcakes!"

Sitting seductively in front of his keyboard are three red velvet cupcakes. And not just the cheapass ones with plastic frosting you get at the supermarket, but _real_ ones. Three huge cupcakes the size of Jinho's face, (that's a bit of an exaggeration, but Jinho needs to up the dramatic factor of this retelling), with sugary cream cheese frosting he can smell from three feet away, and he _probably_ had to order this shit at some motherfucking fancyass bakery and _what. Is. That._

He can hear the phone cameras of his hellish coworkers going off, already preparing to witness his demise on the infernal invention of Instagram.

There are hearts on the cupcakes. Chocolate hearts. Chocolate hearts that might as well be the size of Jupiter for how much they shout _Established Relationship_. Jo Jinho was not prepared for this crap when he stumbled out of his humble abode at 7:53 am on the worst day known to humankind.

" _Yang Hongseok_ ," he growls. "What a fucking waste of money."

His new year's resolution was to cuss less. What a disaster.

The devil laughs. "Hey! They're taking pictures of us!" He slings his arm over Jinho's shoulders and wheels them around to face Yujin, Eunbin, and their evil minions. "Smile!" he shouts, and _this_ is how Jinho's February 14th starts.

(Later, Hwitaek asks him about some picture he found on the 'gram. Jinho blusters his way through it, saying, _that is not an adoring look, that is the face of pure disbelief and disgust!_ )

(Hwitaek responded to that by laughing his ass off.)

_April 17th_

"This has gone too far!" Jinho screams to no one in particular upon arrival at work. He is given no respect. The world is plotting against him. Everyone is his enemy.

Goddammit, Jinho is beginning to despise holidays. Truly loathe them. Fuck them all. Let them burn, perish, and die as he watches victorious. Right after he hacks off all of Hongseok's fingers and toes, of course, because--

"Suck dick, Hongseok! _Red roses?_ "

His cubicle has been molested yet again, this time in the form of a huge bouquet of roses and other assorted flowers that probably also mean _hey let's fuck_ in flower language. Worse yet is the card that very publicly says _Happy Jinhongseok day, hyung! Much love!_

Like, seriously. The motherfucker blended their names together. What kind of internet trash does that in real life?

Hongseok and his irritating, ripped, and overly sappy self flounces into view. "Hello hyung!"

"Explain."

Hongseok pouts. "No _happy birthday_ or anything! I'm-"

"Shut up Hongseok! I don't want a 10-year monologue about us being soulmates or whatever it is you daydream about! What do I want? I want to know why you keep trying to make us a thing! _Why? Why?_ "

Jinho is on the brink of hysteria. He is sure Hongseok's seven months at the office have resulted in a million more times grey hair than he is worth. Why him? Why does he have to be the one being chased by such a hot, kind, considerate, funny person...

Wait. Is this what an epiphany feels like?

"Come on, hyung," Hongseok's tone and expression turn more serious. "You can't possibly say you haven't noticed how well we fit together."

"Uh-mm," Jinho chokes. He is questioning his existence after that realization sent to him from the gods finally penetrated his thick skull. "I..."

Hongseok leans in real close. (Personal space, anyone? Where is his invisible bubble from kindergarten when he needs it the most?). His lips just brush the shell of Jinho's ear, sending shivers all the way through him, and he whispers, "Come on, Jo Jinho. Literally everyone ships it but you."

Straightening up, Hongseok smirks, (damn him, this is a moment of extreme vulnerability and Jinho cannot physically handle that without dying a little bit more) and walks away like he didn't just leave Jinho straining for breath with heart palpitations and shaking hands. He stares after him, admiring the way his slacks fit perfectly to his long legs and, gods, that ass.

Only because the epiphany is so fresh, goddammit. This will never happen again.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are food for life. I hope you liked this trash fluff!


End file.
